going backwards

This blog is an online diary, probably will be written in restrospect and when I remember I have a blog ..
its more for me , rather than anyone else so hence the often incomprehensible ramblings for which i apologise in advance..
after having just seen the Wellcome collections new exhibition on identity where they had a room about diarys and a vast array of diaries, some from kids stating the non plussing events that are often so vivid in those days and yet very boring to the rest of man kind.I for one have kept all my diaries and can remember some of my first entries -" I practiced my gymnastics and did a bridge for the first time".. anyway I wonder whether there should have been space for online diaries/blogs. I mean blogs are for musings, is anyone seriously going to read them..
apart from if you are a call girl or listing your sexual expolits then the press will eventually find you after you have tried to keep quiet about your identity and made your money and possible lost an ounce or two of self esteem along the way.

the start of the new term - after a bout of tonsillitis in march, i had an epiphany .. what was I doing, where was I going, what did I want from life and where was it taking me.. i'd reached sticking point and found that work wasn't stimulating, but depressing and suddenly I thought I can't be doing this for the next thirty years..
the story is that I have been a GP in north london for a few years, loved working in women's health, got all the qualifications, met some wonderful inspirng people along the way and managed to have such a supportive working environment that let me develop in the way I have, so I thank you...  I never thought what opportnities were possible and I always try and say thank you to my guardian angels that have given me some kind of inner strength and internal hope..
so I decided to start medical anthropology .. its been a steep learning curve, but I always knew I'd be happy sitting in a library and discussing and being listened to and intellectually stimulated beyond belief. the world of academia is amazing and I can feel the pull, it is escapsism, but its also somewhere you can place your passion and focus and be surrounded by people who want to learn and discuss and continue to develop. its a wonderful world. there s so much to learn that I may need to add on at least another century to my life.. I just wish i could retain some of the stuff I read... its gven me back my zest of life.. being a GP is great and a wonderful insight into peoples lives and also its given me a great skill and I hope I do my job effectively.. doing this degree makes me realise how much I enjoy and respect my work and patients and work enviornment, why not combine the two .. thats the the next step..